Tag Archives: wealth

Women are gold diggers: part two

In my opinion, men are right when they say women are gold-diggers; but only to some extent. This said, I feel they make a grave mistake when they assume all women are gold-diggers. It’s extremely offensive when an honest woman is treated as one; as a gold digger.

Last month my sister was trying to find a company where she could intern. A friend of hers, who works in a bank, helped her secure a position in one of their branches. When my sister told him she had gotten the internship, he light-heartedly told her she owed him a few drinks.

Friday, that same week, he called her in the morning before she left for school asking her out later in the evening. They had never gone out before as he was engaged when they first met and was going to tie the knot in a few weeks; however he and his fiancée split up last year. Thrilled, my sister agreed to it, thinking he wanted to take her out as it was her birthday.”

When my sister came back home, she wouldn’t stop complaining how unchivalrous the guy had been. Apparently they had gone to two clubs and in both places she had paid for all their drinks.

“I know he had said I owed him a few drinks for helping me get the internship,” she complained, looking visibly disappointed, “but he asked me out. And this was our first time out together. He should at least have offered to go dutch.”

I tried pacifying her, even though I found myself lost for words. I was of the same opinion, that since he asked her out he should have paid for the drinks. I reasoned, if she had asked him out it would have been okay for her to foot the bill, but he asked her out; plus that was their first time out together.

Sometimes I like to think of myself as a little traditional. Maybe I’m wrong; but first impressions really matter. I have no issue paying bills or going dutch with a guy, just not on the first date. And if I do it, I would love to be the one who offers to pay half or all of it, and not because I was pushed to it.

“I’m never going out with him again,” she vowed. “He let me pay the bill, and he knew it was my birthday.”

I couldn’t blame her for her decision. If I was in her situation I wouldn’t either.

While they were talking about him getting her an internship, he told her teaching was his first love. Even though he worked in a bank, he worked part-time as a lecturer and would love to get a permanent teaching job. She asked him to apply for a job in the university she goes to.

After their night out, they rarely talk. Yesterday he sent her a copy of the CV he had sent to her school applying for a position as a lecturer. In the CV he had indicated how much he makes per month at the bank. He could be the next multi-millionaire in town for all I know; if he’s not one already. After getting over my shock, I started wondering why he would bother to send her a copy of his CV when there’s nothing she could do to help him get the job, as much as she wanted to return the favour. I just assumed he wanted to impress her with the money; anyone could be lured by that enormous figure. Maybe I was wrong.

He could be a generous guy, but the thought that he let my sister pay for their drinks on their first ‘date’ and on her birthday, had me thinking he’s just stingy. He had the chance to make a good first impression, but he blew it. In my opinion he broke at least all rules of dating etiquette. My sister already vowed to never go out with him, simply because she deduced he was ungallant; tight-fisted. If ever she went out with him again in future, it wouldn’t be for his charm but solely for the money.

Luckily for him, my sisters and I know in life there are things that are far more important than money. It may sound hypocritical to some, but truth is money is not everything. I know of guys who earn meagre wages but never miss the chance to treat a woman like a lady. Not all women are money-minded; chasing men only for their wealth. All they hope to get from a man are the small gestures, like him pulling out a sit for her, paying the bill-even if it’s only on the first date…

In short, not all women are gold diggers. In the process of trying to impress a woman with his wealth, a man could actually end up losing her because if she’s not after the money, that will be a real deal-breaker.

Women are gold diggers: part one

Women are gold diggers. That’s what many men seem to think nowadays. Are they right? Or it’s just a ploy to make women come off as unbelievably materialistic

Wikipedia defines gold digger as: slang for a greedy person (stereotypically a woman) who only dates (and subsequently marries) wealthy partners with the (typically) sole intention of exploiting said wealth. The term is usually pejorative.

I have this cousin, who I’d only seen once when I was five and never met again until I was a teenager; I wrote about our encounter in Belinda. When I first laid my eyes on her, she seemed to have a very soft demeanour, and was quite shy; she had trouble looking someone straight in the eyes. From what I gathered, that was her first time in the city as she and her family lived in a farm in the countryside.

When they visited, she was accompanied by her mom and elder brother; it was just a normal courtesy call. Two days later, when her mom and brother left for their home she was left behind. Her mom-my aunt-wanted mom to have her enrolled in a school as she had dropped out for lack of funds. Mom had refused because at the time we were also having some money issues; my aunt therefore, requested mom to find her a job then.

We knew it would be difficult to get her a decent job since she didn’t have papers; nonetheless, mom said she would try. Seven months down the line, mom hadn’t managed to find her a job. Afraid that my cousin would take more time before she found a job, mom called my aunt and suggested that my cousin go back home. Eventually she did.

During her stay with us, I realized she was somewhat introverted. At first I thought she was still feeling nervous around us-my sisters and I-since we were practically strangers but as weeks passed by, she didn’t seem to loosen up. If we were doing karaoke we would ask her to join in but she would diffidently refuse; she didn’t have the guts to stand in front of us. We would playfully drag her off the seat to come sing with us but she would giggle, covering her face with her hands. She really was shy.

As months passed by, it occurred to me, she wasn’t the demure lass we had all assumed her to be. For instance, she could actually sing. Once, I was walking to the kitchen when I heard her singing in the living room to Celine Dion’s songs. I treaded softly to the living room and found her singing blithely; she didn’t seem to have a care in the world.

“So you can sing?” I said, shocked and impressed at the same time.

She swung around swiftly, clearly stunned to find me standing there. Assuming her timid self, she plonked herself in the nearest couch. I thought maybe she was afraid of me or something, so I told her, “No, carry on. You really have a beautiful voice.” I made sure my voice came out soft, in case she was scared. She didn’t sing again that day though.

Weeks later, my big sister bumped into my ex. He wanted to see me, so she invited him over for lunch the next day. When my sister told me we would be having a guest I gave my cousin a brief explanation about who he was so she wouldn’t feel out of place when he came.

The following day my ex came, accompanied by one of his friends, who was also an acquaintance. My sister and I prepared the food and later set the table. When the four of us were sitted, my cousin showed up, dressed in a revealing top and fitting pants, and her face completely made up. Again, I was shocked, yet impressed at the same time.

Shocked, because she had actually done her own make up given that I was always the one who was doing it as she didn’t seem to know how and had never shown the interest to learn; and impressed because she had made the effort to look nice. She was a girl of many surprises. Those innocent acts convinced me she wasn’t as coy. I got the impression she had so much concealed beneath her introverted façade.

When she left, we didn’t keep in touch. I only heard she had found a job in the city. After that I only saw her once. Her mom had visited and she came to see her at our place. The next time I saw her was at grams’ funeral last October. She showed up with a very cute guy, who after much prodding, she introduced only as a friend. I had a few questions to ask about ‘her friend’ but I wasn’t in the mood for it.

This past Monday, mom called her mom to check up on her. While they were talking mom asked about my cousin. Turns out she’s looking for a rich man to marry. Mom asked my aunt about the ‘friend’ my cousin was with. My aunt just said my cousin didn’t want him because he wasn’t loaded.

Mom didn’t know what to reply to that. She only told my aunt, “Just tell her not to get anyone’s husband.”

So, if women are gold-diggers? Based on my cousin’s choice of men, I can’t refute the claims.

“I will never forget their evil deeds!”

Listen to this, you that trample on the needy and try to destroy the poor of the country. You say to yourselves, “We can hardly wait for the holy days to be over so that we can sell our grain. When will the Sabbath end, so that we can start selling grain? Then we can overcharge, use false measures, and fix the scales to cheat our customers. We can sell worthless wheat at a high price. We’ll find a poor man who can’t pay his debts, not even the price of a pair of sandals, and we’ll buy him as a slave.”

The Lord, the God of Israel, has sworn, “I will never forget their evil deeds.” (Amos 8: 4-7).

In the society we live today, the needy are trampled on by the powerful; those who are in high authority, and the massively wealthy. A needy person sues a wealthy person, say because they were forcefully evicted from their home…but somehow at the end of the day, they’re not given justice, simply because money exchanged hands behind the scenes. Justice seems to favour those in power.

A needy person rushes their loved one to hospital, urgently in need of medical attention, but they watch painfully as their loved one breathes their last, simply because the doctors couldn’t attend to them because they couldn’t pay for their services in advance. It sounds despicable when I think about it, but that’s the world we live in today. The needy survive only at the mercy of the rich; those in power.

Retailers and wholesalers hoard goods, waiting for prices to go up, so they can sell them at exorbitant prices, so those who can’t afford it go to bed hungry. An aggrieved woman goes to report a crime at the police precinct; the same officer she expects to protect her takes advantage of her. Who will she turn to? College Professors fail their students, because they refuse to trade in ‘favours’… Who will protect these students?

The law of the land seems to favour the wealthy, making the needy spend sleepless nights, trying to comprehend how life could be so cruel. Who will defend them, if those who’ve been put in place to protect them are the same ones making their lives impossible? God says He will. He has vowed not to forget the evil deeds of their oppressors.

God defends the weak

One thing I’ve learned over time is that, not all wealthy people/those in power are evil, and not all poor/needy people are good. For instance, I was reading this blog post about a popular media personality who died a few days ago in a terrorist attack, and someone had commented, ‘the rich also cry.’ I found it inhumane. How could someone say something so vindictive, when people were grieving? I’ve met needy people, who resent the wealthy for no apparent reason; needy people who are extremely spiteful, and I’ve also met people in power who are kind; people who don’t hesitate to share their wealth with the poor.

God says He will defend those who are wrongfully hurt; those who cry because they have no one to defend them. God will avenge them.