Tag Archives: peer pressure

Everyone’s doing it

everyone's doing it

Sometimes I get the impression many people engage in coitus for all the wrong reasons. Some teenagers/ young kids do it because their friends are doing it and they wouldn’t want to feel like the odd ones out; married people, who partake of ‘side dishes’, on the other hand feel like it’s legal to cheat on their spouses because everyone else is doing it.

From a religious point of view, sex is considered good only if one is in a union which has been solemnized before God. This basically means that all the ‘romping’ done with someone who one is not married to is considered a transgression; and the worst kind for that matter.

St. Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians says the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. The minute we decide to sully that temple by fornicating (biblical description of premarital sex) and adultery (extra-marital affairs), we chase the Holy Spirit away as He can’t dwell in an unholy place.

Of all the sins committed, this kind of sinning, basically referred to as immorality is the worst of all, because unlike all the other sins done outside the body, this one is done inside the body and violates the sanctity of the body.

My priest this past Sunday was saying during the homily, “When couples come to me for counselling because their marriages are falling apart as a result of one of the spouses cheating, one of the reasons they give for it is ‘Fr., everyone’s doing it’.”

He paused momentarily before continuing, “Everyone’s doing it? My foot! So you decide you want to go to hell because everyone else is? And when your marriage is collapsing, you don’t go to everyone for help, why? And who is everyone?” He seemed pretty agitated if you ask me…and for good reason, in my opinion.

Sex has become meaningless. Once upon a time it used to be treated as the ultimate expression of love, but nowadays if a student wants good grades in school they will trade in some favours with the professors; if someone wants to get a permanent job after interning, they sleep with the honcho…sex has been reduced to a mere currency.

I don’t mean to be a party pooper but really, when someone is sleeping around with ‘everyone’, where does that leave God? Nowadays parents are even afraid to instil in their children the same values their parents did; they’re afraid of telling them sex before marriage is wrong.

It doesn’t matter if everyone’s doing it. The same God who outlawed fornication and adultery thousands of years ago is the same one, who still reigns today, and who still maintains it’s wrong. So it doesn’t matter if we dupe ourselves into believing that because everyone’s doing it, it’s ok.

God has wiped out cities in the past. That should tell us something; it doesn’t matter if we sin as a community, or as individuals. Once He starts punishing us, He doesn’t spare anyone; and there would be no hole deep enough for one to crawl into to escape His wrath. He is Omniscient.

If you’re doing something, don’t do it because everyone’s doing it; do it for a valid reason; a reason you could justifiably defend if anyone asked.

 

 

Sex should be an open discussion

sex

Sex should be an open discussion. Many parents avoid/shy away from discussing matters sex with their children, who then result to seeking the information from other sources. It’s a given thing, at some point, children get curious about sex, and eventually they try to gather all they can about this very interesting subject. Nowadays everything one needs to know about anything is just a click away, and sex isn’t an exception.

Unfortunately, children are learning about such sensitive issues from faulty sources, getting erroneous information and all. I don’t mean to bash Miley Cyrus, but right now I’m thinking any kid who watches her over sexualized videos and tries to emulate what she does will be walking down the broad road to perdition; it’s undoubtedly clear she’s not the adorable Hannah Montana every little girl idolized.

Parents ought to know by now that eventually their kids will want to know about sex and even if they bury their heads in the sand, it won’t stop them from learning about it somehow. In my opinion, it really is a very sensitive topic, but parents/guardians need to find a suitable way to address the situation.

If a parent doesn’t want their kid’s mind corrupted by the rest of the world, they should be the ones to tell them what they want them to know about sex. I, for instance, don’t remember having the ‘birds and the bees’ talk with any of my parents. In any case, once my sisters and I turned thirteen, dad started imagining we were rolling in the hay with God knows who. Funny thing is that for the better part of my teenage years to date, I remember spending most of my free time indoors; alone or with my sisters. Dad doesn’t know that. Guess he thought when the hormones started kicking in at the onset of puberty we’d be so enthusiastic, exploring and all…

I’m not even sure when I particularly learned about sex but I know ever since I started going to school I’ve always known about it. Good thing is, from whatever sources I gathered my information, I also learned it was wrong. Sex was bad. And at age nine I already knew where babies come from. Then there was that period I went to boarding school at age ten and older girls made sex seem so appealing, with some of them allegedly getting knocked up by some of the male staff during holidays. I was still learning more about it.

Based on what I’ve learned, when it comes to this delicate issue, I realized it’s all about the company a child keeps, the information they’re exposed to and the relationship one has with their parents. The parents help put it all in perspective, but if they shy away from it, then they risk having their children gather all sorts of twisted information. My parents never really delved into matters sex, but mom particularly made sure my faith in God was firm and I believe that is what got me seeing things the way I do.

Sometimes people think I’m crazy when I say sex isn’t bad, given that I’m pro-abstinence, but here’s what I always try to make clear. Sex is God’s gift to man; and married folks at that. That’s why I say it’s good. But it’s also true that when good things are done at the wrong time, then they become automatically wrong.

Still, with all the media hype surrounding sex, it’s difficult to ask hormonal kids not to practice what everyone else seems to glorify. That is why I believe parents should not just give their kids abstinence as the only option, but they should also address safe sex, in case the inevitable happens. After that they can sit back and watch, because at the end of the day, whether they have the talk or not, it will be the kids who decide if/when they will do it. But whatever the outcome, the parents will have a light conscience, knowing they imparted all the useful information to their children.

I’m thinking, what if talking about sex was as easy as parents asking their kids to cover up on a cold day so they don’t catch pneumonia…? Without fear, or anxiety… just doing it freely in order to keep them safe.