There’s no denying dad’s his mother’s son; he’s a chip of that cold block. Nonetheless, he made the conscious decision to be mean like her. Interestingly, dad’s mother always thinks mom’s the one who controls dad. Recently mom called dad’s step-dad to find out how she was doing after being discharged from hospital, and he took the liberty of telling her what dad’s mother has been saying.
Apparently, she thinks dad is too tight –fisted, because of mom’s control. I laughed a little when I heard that, because truth is, she focused too little on her last born, to notice the bad habits he was picking up along the way. Truth of the matter is, dad is naturally stingy. That’s the version of him I’ve known my entire life. She’s only noticing now, when she’s almost turning a century old, because she’s in need of his money.
She didn’t let him and his siblings call her ‘mom’ when they were growing up, because she never wanted to feel old. Dad has always referred to her by her first name. It’s only nowadays he’s reluctantly easing into calling her ‘mom’, because she’s evidently old. Even we, couldn’t call her ‘grams’. The way I see it, she spent most of her life focusing on material wealth… ‘loving’ those she thought had money. Therefore in that regard, my family is nowhere close to being loved by her (Not that I care…).
Dad’s mother has made very many mistakes… very many, if you ask me, because she focused on trivialities. Like the woman from the South Korean drama I mentioned in Part 1 of this post, even she, denied her only daughter the chance to marry the man she loved because he was a young broke man. Little did she know he would later become so wealthy. Her daughter on the other hand, never got married. Worst part about all these is, she’s not learning from her mistakes. Nonetheless, I know bad as she is, dad made the choice to be a bad husband, and father.
Turns out, he didn’t forget mom’s birthday. I only learnt the Sunday after mom’s birthday, that when he was out drinking on Friday night, he called mom to wish her happy birthday. That means, the entire time he was causing havoc he knew he was doing that on a day that should have at the very least, been a happy one.
Last week Tuesday (two days after mom’s birthday) was his birthday. He wasn’t home, but I bet if he was, mom would have treated him to a nice birthday dinner. She’s the forgiving type. I’d say her ‘forgive and forget’ nature is what holds their marriage together, because I do not think anyone else would have been that tolerant. So yes, his mother wouldn’t get ‘mother of the year’ award, but him being a bad husband is a choice he consciously made.
The whole of last week, mom was unwell. While she didn’t say much, I could tell dad’s heartless conduct on her birthday had affected her. One thing I know for a fact, is that mom really loves him, regardless of all his shortcomings. Sadly, he doesn’t seem to feel the same way about her; and that bothers her, even if she doesn’t say it out loud. The sadness in her eyes tells it all.