Tag Archives: flawed

Sometimes it’s hard being a woman

obsessed with being perfect

An article I was reading had me thinking a lot about some men’s contradictory nature appertaining to women’s beauty. The writer-a man-was talking about things that men find attractive in women. As I read the article, I couldn’t help shaking my head in disagreement. He reminded me of the uncountable instances I’ve heard men slamming women who have undergone reconstructive surgery to alter some parts of their bodies, just so they can look the part.

‘Fake eye lashes, fake boobs, fake bum, fake nose, fake hair and she wants a real man’, is a phrase I’ve read so many times, posted by guys on social media. Still, these same men want the picture-perfect woman; a woman who has ‘everything in the right place’. I find it amusing;  moreover, these same men will complain when their ‘model-ish’ women order salads when they go out on dates; apparently, the calorie-counting thing doesn’t sit so well with them.

men's ideal woman

The writer of the said article pointed out some things that I-in all honesty-found utterly ridiculous. According to him, men like a woman who-in his own words- is not too short; someone they won’t have to kneel to kiss but one who isn’t a goliath still. To that I beg to ask, what can a woman do to alter their God-given height, other than wear, ‘kill-a-man-heels’ if they are too short or ballet flats if they are so tall? Think, Marissa Cooper from O.C. portrayed by Mischa Barton. One doesn’t choose to be tall/short.

He asked, “Who wants sleepy/tired boobs?” Do I need to repeat what everyone ought to know? That boobs, come in different shapes and sizes. They could be melons, or little gum drops, firm or saggy… they’re boobs regardless. And if they are natural, at some point gravity will take its toll on them.

In my opinion, it’s okay to have preferences, but I couldn’t help sympathizing with the women who read that article and felt like they were being victimized. Didn’t the writer know it’s comments like those that deflate someone’s self-esteem majorly? Men like him say they want their women’s boobs and booty big and firm; yet they still condemn plastic surgery and other temporary enhancers like hip/bum enhancers?

On body size, the writer quoted a guy who said he would want a woman whose figure would make him go gaga. I’m imagining visible love handles wouldn’t be in the mix then? We live in an era where eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia nervosa have become so prevalent. What would keep such disorders at bay if this is how we judge beauty? It might be easy to pass judgment on anyone suffering from any of them, but importantly, one should look at what triggered it.

He didn’t leave out matters complexion. Apparently, many men, even the dark ones prefer light-skinned women. So, where does that leave the beautiful dark women? It is no wonder, nowadays bleaching cosmetics are so rife in the market; a large majority of dark-skinned women are attempting to lighten their skins. Who would blame them if in men’s eyes light is prettier? Still, the same men criticize them for ‘bleaching’… Seriously? It’s a no brainer that at least every woman likes to feel desirable and as it is, not many are confident about their looks. Whatever the case, it doesn’t change the fact that black is beautiful.

And the, oh- so- flawless skin! According to that writer, pimples are a turn off. I can’t blame him he feels that. My only problem is, if that’s the case, why do they still complain when a woman piles on layers of make-up, in an attempt to hide those undesirable flaws?

I almost forgot the infamous wigs/weaves/hair extensions. If I got paid everytime I heard a guy lamenting how he hated these hair extensions, I would probably be featured on Forbes, topping the list of billionaires. If you ask me, it is hypocritical that these said men claim they hate weaves, yet they will be falling over themselves, drooling over Asian beauties because they have natural, long, sleek, flowing hair. It goes without saying that under this circumstances, if a woman’s hair is short she’ll opt for ‘fake hair’ which is obviously long.

men's perspective on beauty

I have absolutely no qualms with guys having their own preferences; I also know what I particularly like in men. My only problem is, they say unreservedly what they find attractive, yet criticize women who go out of their way to ‘meet those high demands’. With such shifting goal posts, I would say it’s hard being a woman sometimes. I particularly empathize with the women who feel victimized by such hollow preferences; women who try to look the part, yet end up feeling condemned by the same people who pushed them to take whatever measures.

Based on these fluctuating preferences, I would suggest that any woman who feels compelled to do anything to modify their looks should do it, not for any man, but for their own personal satisfaction; for their own happiness.