Tag Archives: Easter

Father forgive them, for they know not what they do

Jesus crucified

In life, there will always be times when every person is wronged by another (s). That’s just the way life is. It could be an innocent child, molested by a man/woman they thought was their protector; a father for instance, and they’re too young to comprehend what happened to them, until much later when they realize they were raped.

It could be a very loving and faithful wife, married to a very abusive husband, who comes home late at night, wreaking of alcohol and spewing insults, annihilating the woman’s self-esteem in ways so unimaginable, so she never feels worthy of mingling with other human beings. Occasionally, the woman will be walking around with a swollen face, marred by bruises put on her by the man she loved or still loves.

It could even be a naïve faithful, taken advantage of by someone she thought was her spiritual guide; a pastor, who was supposed to help them attain salvation.

It could even be an emaciated kid, wandering the cold, unsafe streets at night in sheer solitude, simply because their mom abandoned them when they were still infants…or because they couldn’t stand their father’s abuse at home and therefore chose to flee.

I could only think of so many instances… the list is endless.

As human beings, when we’re in the hands of our tormentors, we curse them and ask God to avenge us. That’s only normal. In recent posts, I’ve mentioned how lately dad has become so heartless and egocentric. He flagrantly shows up in the house in a drunken stupor, staggering sometimes and he starts hurling insults at us.

In one particular episode, about a month ago, he was sitted on the couch sipping on some beer. A while later he started arguing with mom and before long, he was on his feet. Grabbing the bottle, he walked to the entrance door and did the unthinkable. He tipped the bottle, emptying its contents on a floor that hadn’t dried completely since I’d mopped it only recently.

It was a Sunday evening and, I had been breaking my back since I came from church, trying to clean the house. By the time I was done my back was in pain from accumulated fatigue since I have classes six days a week and I hadn’t been resting.

I could barely contain my rage. “Why have you become this unfeeling?” I asked him. “I’ve just finished mopping”.

“It’s my money,” he replied, “I can do with it as I please.”

“How could you do that?”

To my utter disappointment, he didn’t seem remorseful one bit. “I can still spill some more,” he threatened.

Incensed, I barked. “Even the mightiest people know when to say sorry”.

“Just get out of here!” He ordered, his words slurred.

“Money has made you this arrogant,” I continued, my voice raised. “May God take it all away. And you see how you’ve been treating us like worthless trinkets? You’ll come to us, crawling on your knees, asking for forgiveness”. I was feeling so hurt at such haughtiness, that I was shaking, my fists tightly clenched. At that point I know I could have done something so drastic. It’s no wonder nowadays I always avoid getting involved in any altercations with him because I fear I could do something bad. God-forbid!

“You’re talking like that because I already paid your school fee,” he argued. This is because he cut my two sisters off and said they shouldn’t even call him dad.

“Money’s not everything,” I countered vehemently. “Respect’s a two way street. If you want us to respect you, you should also accord us the same… and right now you’re not doing that.” With that I left, just to go cool off.

A while later, while he was spewing insults, like he’s being accustomed to, I heard a dull thud, followed by my sisters’ giggles… and I got all curious. While I was about to head back to the living room, I heard them say amid laughter, “See?”

Apparently, he had slipped on the wet floor, courtesy of the beer he had spilled and had fallen on the ground. Knowing my sisters, I knew the laughter wasn’t malicious. Dad naturally hates it when we laugh, so they just wanted to drive a point home; that in his arrogance he had poured the beer on the floor, only to end up on the same floor; that he had erred by pouring that beer and worse still, seeming so unapologetic about it. When he got back to his feet, he opened another bottle and emptied it on the floor again…

Today’s Easter Monday. Last week was a Holy week, where we celebrated the Holy Triduum (three holy days) starting from Holy Thursday evening, when Jesus washed His disciple’s feet before celebrating the Last Supper with them in preparation for His Passion; celebrated on Good Friday when He dies on the cross, the Easter Vigil Mass, on Holy Saturday; to Easter Sunday. Yesterday, we celebrated His glorious resurrection, when He triumphed over death.

On Good Friday, when the priest was giving his brief sermon, he emphasized on forgiveness. “Jesus didn’t curse His tormentors for putting Him through so much agony when He was entirely blameless. Instead, He asked His Father, ‘Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do’”.

Just like Jesus forgave His tormentors, we’re also called to forgive those who make us suffer unjustly; as opposed to cursing them. Speaking from my own personal experience, it’s very difficult forgiving someone/people who torment us incessantly; but following in Christ’s footsteps, I’m making a personal effort to forgive my dad and all those I feel make my life miserable.

I’m not in the habit of wishing ill upon others but unfortunately, that is something that’s growing on me from the constant conflicts I have with dad. I ask for God’s grace to do only, that which pleases Him. It’s really not easy but I have to try. We all should.

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The Solemnity of the Ascension of the Lord

Ascension of Jesus

Last Sunday-1st June-was the seventh Sunday of Easter. If anyone hasn’t wished their friends/family a happy Easter, they only have a few hours left to do it because this is the final week of Easter. Forty days since the resurrection of Christ ended last week Thursday, 29th May, which was the actual Ascension Day, but as it was a weekday, the solemnity was celebrated on Sunday.

In the Acts of the Apostles, a continuation of the Gospel according to Luke, where he-Luke- tells about the work of the apostles, guided by the Holy Spirit, he starts of by writing to Theophilus:

Dear Theophilus,

In my first book I wrote about all the things that Jesus did and taught from the time He began His work until the day He was taken up to heaven. Before He was taken up, He gave instructions by the power of the Holy Spirit to the men He had chosen as His apostles.

Prove beyond doubt Jesus rose from the dead

For forty days after His death He appeared to them many times in ways that proved beyond doubt that He was alive. They saw Him, and He talked with them about the Kingdom of God. And when they came together He gave this order, “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift I told you about, the gift my Father promised. John baptized with water but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.”

The ascension of Jesus

When the apostles met together with Jesus, they asked Him, “Lord, will you at this time give the kingdom back to Israel?”

Jesus told them, “The occasions and times are set by my Father’s own authority, and it is not for you to know when they will be. But when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, you will be filled with power and you will be witnesses for me in Jerusalem, in all of Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

After saying this, He was taken up to Heaven as they watched Him and a cloud hid Him from their sight.

They still had their eyes fixed on the sky as He went away, when two men, dressed in white suddenly stood beside them and said, “Galileans, why are you standing there looking up at the sky? This Jesus, who was taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way that you saw Him go to heaven. (Acts 1: 1-11).

Message of hope

The ascension of Jesus is a story of hope. It fills all those who believe in Him with the hope of being reunited with Him one day. He went up to prepare a place for all those who obediently live by His teachings.

Before He went up, He instructed His disciples to spread the gospel to the ends of the earth. We’re called to be evangelists, and that doesn’t mean we should all be ordained priests/church ministers. Anyone can spread the word by showing acts of love and kindness to all, whether they believe in God or not. It’s not our place to choose who deserves to be loved or not.

As we wait for Pentecost, for God’s promised gift-the Holy Spirit-to come down upon us, we should pray, asking Him to fill us with His strength, so that we can see things as He wants us to; and for His empowerment, so we can live by His commandments, loving and serving Him.

2nd Sunday of Easter

Today is the second Sunday of Easter; and with it we conclude the Octave of Easter.

On this day we celebrate the Divine Mercy: Years ago, in the 1930s, Jesus appeared to Sister Faustina Kowalska and promised her that He would bestow His Divine Mercy on any sinner, who would repent his sins, no matter how grave they were. He promised He wouldn’t refuse any soul that would seek His mercy. He also asked Sister Faustina, on numerous occasions, that a feast day be dedicated to celebrate the Divine Mercy and that this day be celebrated on the Sunday after Easter.

Jesus the Divine Mercy

On 30th April, 2000 when Pope John Paul II canonized Sister Faustina, he said, “It’s important that we accept the whole message that comes to us from the word of God on this second Sunday of Easter, which from now on throughout the church, will be called Divine Mercy Sunday’.”

On this day-today-people are asked to reflect on their lives and repent whatever wrongs they have committed, no matter how big. Based on this, the day is also known as the feast of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Today, being the eighth day (one week) since Easter Sunday, Christians are called to reflect on the mysteries of Easter; how Christ’s death and resurrection has impacted our lives:

Why Sunday; genesis of Sunday as the day of worship

After His resurrection, Jesus made His first appearance on Easter Sunday, when He appeared to Mary Magdalene and later His disciples. Thomas, also known as ‘the twin’ wasn’t with them at the time. When the rest of the disciples told him Jesus had appeared to them he refused to believe.

Eight days later, when the disciples were gathered in a closed room, afraid of the Jewish authorities, Jesus appeared to them. This time Thomas was with them. Jesus asked him to feel the scars on His hands and on His side. It’s only after that experience that Thomas believed He truly was the risen Christ. (John 20: 11-28).

On both occasions, Jesus appeared to His disciples on the first day of the week; which on the current calendar is translated as a Sunday. Before His death and resurrection, the Sabbath-Saturday-was observed as the holy day. That’s why the authorities faulted Jesus for healing people on the Sabbath; which was against the law as the commandments handed down to Moses said to keep the Sabbath day holy.

After He resurrected, the first day of the week-Sunday-was interpreted to be the day of meeting with the Lord. And from then, Sunday is celebrated as the Holy day.

Faith as communitarian; importance of going to church

We’re told Thomas wasn’t in the room the first time Jesus appeared to His disciples. One would wonder, “Where was he?” In the bible it’s not mentioned where he was at the time. Again, one would imagine the state he was in after learning of Jesus’ resurrection. Excitement and fear maybe? Chances are he was out there trying to confirm if there was any truth to the rumours being circulated about Jesus’ resurrection.

Wherever he was, he didn’t see Jesus. That’s why he had a difficult time believing the other disciples. Alone, he didn’t find the resurrected Christ. It was only when he was together with the other disciples, gathered behind locked doors that Jesus appeared again.

From this we see that when it comes to matters faith, one might not find Christ on a lone journey; but it’s evidently clear that where people are gathered in prayer, the Lord is ever present. Due to this, people are encouraged to pray as a community; as a church.

Blessed are those who have not seen me and yet believe

Jesus told Thomas, “You have believed me because you have seen me. Happy are those who haven’t seen me and yet believe.”

A Christian’s life is all about believing the unseen; believing in a God we have never seen. We’re told faith is a gift. This is simply because one can’t buy it from a mall etc. It’s something that should be felt; something we receive from God’s Holy Spirit. Like the air we breathe; we don’t see it, but we know it’s there. It’s the same with God. Should we refuse to believe He exists just because we have never seen His face? Only the Son knows how His Father looks like. But should that stop us from believing?

In John 8: 55, Jesus told the Pharisees, “You have never known Him, but I know Him. If I were to say I do not know Him, I would be a liar like you. But I do know Him, and I obey His word.”

We believe in God the Father, because we believe in the God the Son.

Thomas is a symbol of all those who doubt Christ. It’s okay to have doubts because it’s only by trying to clear the doubts that we find answers, which in turn strengthen our faith. However, in this day and age, God doesn’t make ‘dramatic’ appearances like He used to in the olden days. For the Christians of today, we believe because of the experiences written in the bible. If one waits to believe when they actually see God, the day might never come, so they’ll die without believing.

From my own experiences though, I can say confidently; God is always there with us. We only have to let ourselves feel His presence in our lives. Call Him today; He will answer. And if He doesn’t come immediately, don’t lose hope. Jesus took eight days to appear; to prove His resurrection to doubting Thomas. It’s all about Faith and Hope. That is what Easter gives us.

 

 

Do not feel rejected; He loves you

Fifteenth station-Jesus is risen from the dead

ALLELUYAH! ALLELUYAH! ALLELUYAH! Christ is risen from the dead!

Christians all over the world are celebrating the resurrection of Christ. After the lent season, which is essentially a solemn period, now we are in celebration mode.

Christmas and Easter are the two most important feasts in a Christian’s life. The former is fundamental because we celebrate the birth of Christ, and the latter because we commemorate His death and resurrection. Easter is more important though.

So much has been said/written about this whole dying and resurrecting thing; one article caught my eye though. The writer talked about man’s origin from a scientist’s perspective; the evolution theory seeks to explain where man came from. To them it’s all about physics and chemistry. They say the genesis story is all a myth.

Science can explain it all, right? The day the sun stood still and the moon stopped so Joshua and his army could fight; the dividing of the Red Sea during the Exodus, when Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt and Pharaoh’s men drowned… but what about the resurrection of Christ? The gap between life and death? Christ’s ascension? Is it all a myth?

The resurrection of Christ is the basis on which Christian faith is founded. During mass, bread and wine are consecrated as a re-enactment of the last supper. Jesus in His words said, “Do this in memory of me.” Christians faithfully follow His will. And the mystery of faith, ‘Dying You destroyed our death, rising You restored our life, Lord Jesus come in glory.” See, it’s all founded on His resurrection. If He didn’t come back to life, people would have no hope of life after death.

Many non-believers think of death as the ultimate end of a person’s life. Christian doctrines however, teach that death is only the beginning of eternal life. All this we believe because Jesus Christ died and resurrected.

Naysayers doubt Christ resurrected. From the scriptures though, it’s clearly evident He rose from the dead. Firstly, the tomb, which was guarded by roman soldiers, afraid that His disciples would steal His body, was opened. Early Sunday morning, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been taken away from the entrance. (John 20: 1).

Secondly, the soldiers who guarded the tomb went back and told the chief priests everything that happened. The chief priests met with the elders and made their plan; they gave a large sum of money to the soldiers and said, “You are to say that His disciples came during the night and stole His body while you were asleep. And if the governor should hear the story we will convince him that you are innocent and you will have nothing to worry about.”

The guards took the money and did what they were told to do. And so that is the report spread around by the Jews to this very day. (Matthew 28: 11-15).

Thirdly, doubting Thomas’ experience confirms further that Jesus resurrected: He was not with them when Jesus came. When the other disciples told him they had seen Jesus, he said, “Unless I see the scars of the nails in his hands and put my finger on those scars and my hand in His side, I will not believe.”

A week later, the disciples were together again indoors and Thomas was with them. The doors were locked, but Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then He said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and look at my hands; then reach out your hand and put it in my side. Stop your doubting and believe me!”

Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God.”

Jesus said to Him, “Do you believe because you see me? Happy are those who believe without seeing me.” (John 20: 24-29).

These alone are enough evidence for anyone to believe Christ rose from the dead. He conquered death. Whatever your situation, whether in prison, sick, childless, mourning, hungry… do not feel rejected. He loves you! Through his resurrection, He conquered death; a wage of sin committed by our first parents, Adam and Eve. Because of His resurrection, those who believe in Him have nothing to fear.

He destroyed death; man’s greatest enemy. What else can’t He destroy? Your problems and mine are nothing to Him. We only need to take them to Him in prayer. We only need to keep the faith.

Now one would ask, “If He was in deed the Son of the Almighty God, why did he have to die in the first place? Couldn’t God spare Him the excruciating pain?”

Truth is, if God wanted to, He could have spared Jesus the pain. Before Jesus was arrested, He prayed while at the Mount of Olives. “Father,” He said. “If You will, take this cup of suffering away from me. Not My will however, but Your will be done.” (Luke 22: 41). God could have stopped Jesus’ passion, but He didn’t. He, in His infinite wisdom, knew His Son would achieve something greater by dying. Through His death and resurrection, we believe.

When Jesus died, His disciples hid themselves, afraid the same fate would befall them. But after they learned of His resurrection, they went out courageously preaching the things He had taught them (Acts of the Apostles). God knew Jesus’ followers would need something to believe in. He let His son suffer for the sake of mankind. He so loved the world, that He gave His only son. It was all for us.

Christ’s resurrection is a renewal of faith and hope. This Easter, we’re called to be His followers; to believe in God’s undying love.

HAPPY EASTER!

Negative competition

When I was a kid, the main reason I loved celebrating birthdays, Easter and Christmas was because we (my sisters and I) always got new clothes, and most of the time they were matching Cinderella dresses. Mom always bought us the dresses that were in vogue at that time, and as we grew up it became a little tradition. The best part was when it came to attending mass on Christmas day, because then we’d get to wear our cute ‘princessy’ dresses. In that light, my least favourite Christmas was year 2000’s because we didn’t get new clothes; mom didn’t have a job and dad wasn’t willing to part with his money.

Given the circumstances, we were so disappointed; we refused to attend mass. It felt weird not wearing new clothes to church. Mom was so strict when it came to matters church, but I guess that day she understood our frustrations so she didn’t force us to go. In my family, Christmas has always been treated like an extended family affair so most of the time we hold our annual get-togethers around that time. That Christmas was being celebrated at one of my uncles’ place. Dad went alone.

Seeing as we didn’t attend mass that day, one of our second class cousins, who lived nearby passed by our place. Maybe the frustrations of not having new dresses made us myopic, because I remember feeling like she had only come to see what kind of clothes we had.

It sounds foolish when I think about it now, but we made that deduction based on three facts: firstly, their house was a thirty minutes’ walk away from ours. Secondly, she brought us an old black card with a wine bottle on the front page and it wasn’t even enveloped. It didn’t seem like a Christmas card and given that I’ve never seen it since then, I’m assuming we threw it away that same day. Thirdly, we weren’t really that close. The relationship we had with them was a very unhealthy one; it was more of a competition; seeing who went to the best schools, who lived in a fancier house, who got a boyfriend first (we were still very young but that was also an issue), seeing whose parents drove the best cars, who got the best grades in school…

Based on that, it was difficult to believe she’d walked all the way just to bring an old card; but maybe we were just being paranoid… the only good thing about that day was that one of our aunts-she was estranged from her husband at the time so she also didn’t attend the get-together- brought my sisters and I some cute knickers.

As I’ve mentioned in some previous posts, the things-habit wise- we pick up as kids stay with us longer. In that respect, I’ve always detested any form of competition I deem negative; with my cousins for instance. The madness stopped when we moved to different parts of the city. I don’t think the competitiveness stopped, on their part atleast, because even when we meet one can still feel the tension; the only thing is that distance brought some sanity.

When I was a kid, the relationship we had with the rest of the family didn’t feel any different and as I grew up I started appreciating the distance. We only met up when it was inevitable. For the better part of our preteen and early teenage years we still were linked by the mere fact that somehow my sisters, female cousins and I all went to the same boarding school. So even if we lived far from each other we’d still meet in school.

Slowly, I started hating anything that felt like a competition, because if whatever I had/did wasn’t the best, I’d lie so I wouldn’t feel so bad about it. I didn’t like the person I was becoming. Luckily we went to different high schools and seeing as we were old enough to make our own choices we (my sisters and I) avoided any unnecessary meetings. Sometimes distancing oneself from negative influence is the best solution.

Someone who reads my posts regularly might think I hate my extended paternal family. Truth is I don’t hate them. I just don’t like the person I am when I’m with them. Our relationship hasn’t changed. It has always felt like a competition, and looking back at the life I had as a kid, I know I wouldn’t want to go back to that. If I have to constantly tell lies or lash out at someone because they make it their business to pry into my life, making me feel bad about what I don’t have or what I have, just because they’re not okay with it, I would rather sever all ties with them than do something I might regret for the rest of my life, in an attempt to always top the charts.

second chances

God’s will: Seeing through the eyes of Faith

I realize a couple of months have gone by since Easter, but there are a few important points I gathered that I found so helpful. See, there’s this prayer I bumped into (and I say bumped into because I didn’t go looking for it, I just found it): My Jesus, I have travelled your way of the cross. It seems so real and I feel so ashamed. I complain of my sufferings and find obedience to the Father’s Will difficult. My mind bogged down by the poverty, sickness, starvation, greed and hatred in the world. There are many innocent people who suffer so unjustly.

There are those born with physical and mental defects. Do we understand that You continue to carry Your cross in the minds and bodies of each human being? Help me to see the Father’s Will in every incident of my daily life. This is what You did-You saw the Father’s will in Your persecutors, Your enemies and Your pain. You saw a beauty in the cross and embraced it as a desired treasure.

My worldly mind is dulled by injustice and suffering and I lose sight of the glory that is to come. Help me to trust the Father and to realize that there is something great behind the most insignificant suffering. There is someone lifting my cross to fit my shoulders-there is Divine wisdom in all the petty annoyances that irk my soul every day. Teach me the lessons contained in my Cross, the wisdom in its necessity, the beauty of its variety and the fortitude that accompanies even the smallest cross…”

This particular prayer ‘found’ it’s way to me at a very convenient moment; God knew I would need it a few weeks down the line. Last year December I had a dream, and unlike other dreams I always get when I’m deep in slumber, this one didn’t just die. It became a tormenting thought.

Three years ago I made three friends, all from my estate; my skating buddies. They were all guys, who were so different from each other, but I liked them regardless, because I realized each one was unique in their own way. I found one so loquacious, and I appreciated it because if we were together I would never feel bored. He’s basically one of those guys who always have something interesting to say. His downside, I realized, was that he easily gets swayed by other people’s opinions.

The second one was a bit reserved. He’s an introvert but his sense of responsibility awed me. He’s the kinda guy who will stay sober in a party, just to keep an eye on his friends while they drink away, and every so often will remind them not to over indulge. Once, we had a tête-à-tête and as I listened to his long term plan, I felt if he didn’t get derailed he would be every kid’s ideal dad. I was impressed.

The third one was a laid-back guy, fun-loving, an exquisite dancer and a trend setter among his guy friends. Sometimes we would find ourselves alone, sitted somewhere just chatting and I felt he was more like me- quiet or chatty depending on whose company he was in. He was good at everything he did; if he was in his skates, he would give onlookers something amazing to talk about. If he was on the dance floor, he would put his soul in it and from a lady’s perspective, he was quite a charmer.

When I met them the first time, I couldn’t ignore the fact that they were all so breathtaking, but then I reminded myself of that principle I’ve always upheld for the past few years since I left high school; not to have any romantic relationships with my co-workers or neighbours. It’s a decision I made after realizing I wouldn’t always up and leave if a relationship I had at work or in my neighbourhood turned sour. I had no choice but to draw my own boundaries.

The three guys were best friends, and looking at their individual traits, I realized they complimented each other. I always repeated my mantra in my head; however irresistible they appeared, all we could be was friends. That served as my constant restraint. Another reason that made me stick to my mantra was the simple fact that if I bumped into any one of them in the estate, in the company of another lady, I wouldn’t feel a tad jealous. They were just friends.

Whoever said rules were meant to be broken was so right because sometimes I would find myself going against my own mantra and I would find myself flirting. It was a guilty-pleasure. Once we attended a house party, and as we danced to the dance hall tunes, pulling off some risqué moves, the inevitable happened; guy #1 and me got caught up in the party mood and before we knew it we were groping each other, our lips locked in a lustful passion.

It took a while before I came back to my senses.  Later that night I hit the reset button and the next day we went back to being just friends. Complicated friendship.

Of the three guys, I felt more connected to guy #3, but even then, our relationship remained a semblance of Platonicism, marred by the occasional flirting. The way I see it, it is almost impossible to have a platonic relationship with someone you could be attracted to; it takes all the strength one can summon.

So last year December I had this dream, that guy #3 had moved. It felt like a nightmare. When I woke up, I couldn’t be happier that it had just been a dream, but then an inexplicable ominous feeling engulfed me; it was that of an imminent loss. Ever since, no matter how hard I tried to shake off that feeling it just refused to go away. Whenever we met up I had this thought drumming at the back of my mind that he wouldn’t be around for long.

Funny thing is, he had never mentioned anything about them moving, and two, the idea felt odd because all the houses in the estate are mortgaged so people don’t move often. In my head I pictured how it would happen; my small sister would be the one to notice the empty house, then she would come and tell me about it. It was like a premonition.

In April, that’s when my nightmare came true, exactly as I had pictured it in my head. One might wonder why it felt like a big deal; they’d only moved. Truth is I’m not a big believer in long distance relationships, so at the back of my mind I knew things would change. It wouldn’t be the same again. I wouldn’t see him as often as I used to; maybe I would never see him again.

Our dining room window overlooks their house, so as I stood there looking at the curtainless windows in the distance, petrified that my dream had come true and the fact that my friend had just moved, I remembered the prayer; to see God’s will in everything. I couldn’t understand how it happened; the guy I liked most was precisely the one who had gone, and it hadn’t happened out of the clear blues; I had known it would happen, and no one had told me about it in advance. It felt eerie. I didn’t know what to make of it.

staring out

That morning, as I stared outside in a trance, the past few weeks started replaying in my head. Somehow, whenever we planned to meet up, something would happen, making us cancel. Maybe I was being paranoid, but there was literally, a greater force than us keeping us apart.

The only way I could move on was if I looked at it through the eyes of faith; it was God’s will. It hurt; it felt surreal, but knowing that it was God working calmed me down; there was something great behind the most insignificant suffering.

I reasoned, with the turn things had been taking lately, we would have crossed some boundaries; maybe I would have done something I would have regretted for a long time to come. Possibly I would be ‘dying’ of a broken heart if he had stayed; I liked him more than I was willing to admit, even to myself. Then again, God’s ways are mysterious…