Tag Archives: cheating

Everyone’s doing it

everyone's doing it

Sometimes I get the impression many people engage in coitus for all the wrong reasons. Some teenagers/ young kids do it because their friends are doing it and they wouldn’t want to feel like the odd ones out; married people, who partake of ‘side dishes’, on the other hand feel like it’s legal to cheat on their spouses because everyone else is doing it.

From a religious point of view, sex is considered good only if one is in a union which has been solemnized before God. This basically means that all the ‘romping’ done with someone who one is not married to is considered a transgression; and the worst kind for that matter.

St. Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians says the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. The minute we decide to sully that temple by fornicating (biblical description of premarital sex) and adultery (extra-marital affairs), we chase the Holy Spirit away as He can’t dwell in an unholy place.

Of all the sins committed, this kind of sinning, basically referred to as immorality is the worst of all, because unlike all the other sins done outside the body, this one is done inside the body and violates the sanctity of the body.

My priest this past Sunday was saying during the homily, “When couples come to me for counselling because their marriages are falling apart as a result of one of the spouses cheating, one of the reasons they give for it is ‘Fr., everyone’s doing it’.”

He paused momentarily before continuing, “Everyone’s doing it? My foot! So you decide you want to go to hell because everyone else is? And when your marriage is collapsing, you don’t go to everyone for help, why? And who is everyone?” He seemed pretty agitated if you ask me…and for good reason, in my opinion.

Sex has become meaningless. Once upon a time it used to be treated as the ultimate expression of love, but nowadays if a student wants good grades in school they will trade in some favours with the professors; if someone wants to get a permanent job after interning, they sleep with the honcho…sex has been reduced to a mere currency.

I don’t mean to be a party pooper but really, when someone is sleeping around with ‘everyone’, where does that leave God? Nowadays parents are even afraid to instil in their children the same values their parents did; they’re afraid of telling them sex before marriage is wrong.

It doesn’t matter if everyone’s doing it. The same God who outlawed fornication and adultery thousands of years ago is the same one, who still reigns today, and who still maintains it’s wrong. So it doesn’t matter if we dupe ourselves into believing that because everyone’s doing it, it’s ok.

God has wiped out cities in the past. That should tell us something; it doesn’t matter if we sin as a community, or as individuals. Once He starts punishing us, He doesn’t spare anyone; and there would be no hole deep enough for one to crawl into to escape His wrath. He is Omniscient.

If you’re doing something, don’t do it because everyone’s doing it; do it for a valid reason; a reason you could justifiably defend if anyone asked.

 

 

Opposites Attract

opposites attract

I’ll never understand some things; not because I’m daft, but simply because those are some of nature’s machinations-but I know there’s a scientific explanation to it. Have you ever met two people who are completely different and you wonder how they ended up together?

When my sisters and I were small, my baby sister didn’t understand what was going on between mom and dad; fighting and all… She would constantly ask mom innocently, “Can’t we just look for another dad?” She was too young to comprehend the fact that the two were bound together by holy matrimony; it wasn’t just something mom could fix with the snap of her fingers…but that’s how kids are; they think their parents are super heroes.

She obviously felt dad wasn’t her ideal father, and she felt we would be much happier if mom found us another dad. If only it was that easy. If I had a choice, I would have gladly kicked dad to the curb on mom’s behalf long ago. I fail to understand how she put up with his abuse for so long, but everytime I remind myself, she was brought up in a very religious setting. She was going to join a convent; it was during the early stages of her formation, when she met dad and fell head-over-heels in love with him, plus she was a catechist… and the church preaches strongly against divorce…you know, ‘what God has put together, let no man put asunder’…

That in a nutshell defines my parents; virtuous mom (she’s no saint though) and a phenomenally mean dad (especially when he’s ‘under the influence’), and that is precisely what I don’t understand. They’re so different; completely opposite.

I know more than enough married couples, and there seems to be something common. It’s like nature went out looking for the extreme opposites and put them together to even things out. For instance, there are these family friends we have. We haven’t seen each other for a while since they moved to Australia a few years ago, but their family was a contrast to ours-last I checked.

The mom was the domineering control freak while the husband was so humble. The kids loved the father more. Then I have these four cousins, who have different fathers because their mom cheats on their loyal dad an awful lot. I’m not sure they know it; it’s an open secret.

I just can’t seem to trace any family with two ‘good’ parents. One of mom’s nephews- he’s almost her age- calls her a lot to ask for advice because his wife cheats on him brazenly.  He set up a business for her, lavishes her with gifts… he’s most women’s ideal husband. Lately he’s not been calling, so mom figured she should check up on him because the last time they talked he didn’t feel fine.

She rang him today. Apparently, his two kids-barely teenagers-threw their mom out. They asked her to take some time off to figure out what she wants to do with their father. I’ve never met her honestly, but from the description I get of her, she drinks a lot, doesn’t visit her kids in school, spends nights out, away from home… He, on the other hand is a quiet, laid-back guy.

That got me thinking; those kids wish for a better mom, like my sisters and I were wishing for a better dad. It almost feels obvious, if the wife is good, the husband is the villain of the piece…and if the husband is good, the wife is wicked… Opposites attract, literally; but for what it’s worth, I hope I’m wrong.