Monthly Archives: October 2015

Christians, are we? Part 2

This far I’ve come, I’ve tried according dad’s mother all the respect I could master, but apparently it’s been all for naught; she refused to look at my sisters and I as her son’s daughters. Instead, she covered us with the same tainted cloth she did my mother. She extended the hatred she feels for my mother to us, refusing to see beyond the poverty mom came from.

Her favourite in-laws are the wealthiest ones, and as my mom is not, she remains her least favourite; her worst rather, yet she’s always thumping her chest saying, “I’m saved.” If I wasn’t a Christian already and I met her, I would hate everything Christianity stood for; thankfully, I know better. At this point it may seem like I’m haranguing out of anger but in the next post I will give an account of that blasted meeting we had, and I will let you be the judge of it.

The underlying point I’m trying to put across is that many of us claim to be saved, yet we perpetuate everything Jesus would stand against. For instance, I would like for dad’s mother to tell me what the Bible preaches about marriage. I would quote very many verses, e.g. man leaving his parents and starting a life with his wife, where the two shall live as one (Ephesians 5: 31) … what God has joined together let no man put asunder (Mark 10:9)…

The above verses refer to married couples. Astonishingly, thirty years after my parents met, dad’s mother is still trying to break them apart as she feels mom is still not the right woman for her son. Looking at it from her perspective, I would say yes, mom is poor, because she’s not as loaded as the rest of the daughter-in-laws; but what authority does she have, to try and split them up?

Dad’s siblings have failed miserably, relationship-wise and in my opinion it can all be attributed to their mother’s injudicious counsel; but I stand corrected. My deductions are primarily based on the fact that up until now she hasn’t acknowledged the wonderful woman dad married. Since she’s known mom she’s been too busy fault-finding, that I feel it will be too late when she realizes she lost out on a gem like the humble woman my mother is when she was too occupied collecting ordinary stones.

If it wasn’t for the respect I accord my elders, I would give her a detailed account of the agony dad has put mom through, then I would want her to tell me who of the two doesn’t deserve the other. In her case, apparently, age didn’t impart wisdom, because she still judges relationships and family ties based on the individuals’ pecuniary value. I pray to God I never get tired of saying this, but money is not everything; there are things that are far more precious.

Ironically, that same Sunday was still the anniversary of my maternal grams death. It’s been two years since she passed on and her memory is still fresh in our minds. I imagine if she were still alive, she would give dad’s mom a few words of wisdom.

For starters, dad’s mom hates mom because she’s not rich; not because she’s ever offended her in any way. On the other hand, when my maternal grams was alive, dad disrespected her in ways so unimaginable, yet she found it in her kind heart to forgive him. So how can dad’s mother claim to be a Christian, yet she manifestly perpetuates hatred and segregation?


Christians, are we? Part 1

Last Sunday but one during mass the priest gave a homily that had me thinking an awful lot. It was about people who are forever saying, “I’m saved”. You ask them what that means and they’ll be like, “I was a sinner but Jesus saved me.” So first of all, what comes to mind is, man is inherently a sinner. No one is sin-free on this earth, and that’s why Jesus died to save us from eternal damnation. So when someone says they were once sinners but are now saved, one imagines they are no longer sinners.

However, there’s another way of looking at it. One was leading a life of sin, but they let Jesus into their hearts, thus choosing to turn over a new leaf; abandoning their sinful ways. This means that one acknowledges the fact that they are sinners, but they chose to let God into their hearts, meaning everyday they get out of bed they strive to live a life that’s principally pleasing to God.

The Priest went on to say that some of these people treat everyone else like sinners because they consider themselves sinless. If you asked them they would tell you they no longer live on this earth but on some realm that exists between Heaven and Earth –wherever that is.

Now from what I gathered, the Priest’s qualms was that during the day these saved ones will be pretending to lead saintly lives but in the dark, they will drop those façades, indulging in the most despicable of ways. Additionally, if one gets a chance to snoop into their bags they will find all sorts of charms; you ask them what those are, and they will flagrantly tell you, “That’s my protection”.

So the million dollar question is, “What kind of Christians are those?” That is if they’re Christians to begin with.

As the priest delivered the homily, my mind drifted to one woman; my father’s mother. Up until two weeks ago, I used to call her granny, not because she revelled in the respectful title, but because, unlike my dad and his siblings, I couldn’t bear to call the woman who birthed my father by her actual name. The thought of it is just preposterous. It reeks of disrespect to say the least. So even though she detests it, my sisters and I insisted on calling her granny.

However, about three weeks ago, she visited and what ensued had me, in my God-given wisdom, deciding I wouldn’t call her granny again; and this time round it had nothing to do with her refusing the title. My sisters and I figured, a woman who acted as she did didn’t deserve such a respectful name.

I realized that all this while we’ve been according her so much respect, yet all we are to her are just impecunious daughters of a daughter-in-law she loathes to the core, simply because she (mom) came from a very humble background.

I tried comprehending how a woman of her age would act in such a manner; and the only feasible explanation, or the mere semblance of it that came to mind was the embodiment of wickedness. As I can’t call her by her name, I’ll just stick to calling her ‘dad’s mother’, because the name ‘granny/grams’…etc. bespeaks love, and affection; none of which I feel for that woman.