3 thoughts on “God Understands Your Life

  1. Looking for the Light

    Good morning my friend,
    During my darkest days as teen drug addict my grandmother would tell me the above. I didn’t believe, I was a teenager, drug addict, hated myself, wanted to die, abused by both of my parents and all around hated life, I didn’t have faith. I went to live with grandparents at 14 yrs. old. Every time a boyfriend broke up, as I cried laying across my bed, my grandmother would explain sometimes we don’t understand why right now but someday God might show us why and sometimes he doesn’t. We had to believe there was a reason. My marriage of barely a year failed, at 19 yrs. old, I moved back in with my grandparents totally humiliated and in pain. My grandmother would say pray for what God has given you. I didn’t see what there was to pray for. My grandmother was at my side for, money when broke, hysterectomy, father’s suicide, brain surgery, alcoholism, first ECT treatments and second marriage end after 13 years. Thru the pain of my father’s death, her only son, she would say we have to believe there’s a reason, don’t be mad at God, have faith we will understand someday. My grandmother saw me as a highly successful, highly paid executive, loving life, loving my job, having faith, telling my self these words when depression would set in. I believe God gave me challenges to prepare me for my grandmothers dementia, caring for her along side my grandfather as she died as home, just the way she wanted. There were trials during this period, my grandmother was self destructive, wanted to die because she was losing her mind, wouldn’t allow my grandfather to leave her side. She fell breaking her arm and later a hip. We had to keep her in a nursing home for a week while I arranged hospice care. Leaving her was heart breaking for my grandfather and me. I didn’t understand the reason, just kept praying. She forgot who I was, crushing my heart, we saw her become a shell of her former self. I had my hand under her head and morphine stick in her mouth as she died. The pain was beyond words. I started to see what God prepared me for. I was at my grandfathers side as we grieved her, at close to 60 years of marriage her was still in love with her. His health started decline before granny died, I drove him to all appointments and took him to the hospital many times. I knew what God had prepared me for. Gramps asked when he was going to die? My eyes were clear and confidence strong as I told him he would see granny again in the next couple of weeks. God prepared me for this moment, I was a caregiver. I was living with him by this point, I handed him the personal phone book saying it was time to called everyone he wanted to talk to before he died, God prepared me. When he was grumpy not wanting to take his medicine or demanding fried eggs after I’d already made biscuits and gravy. I was prepared. Watching him talk to friends and family in his last days, I was strong, laying out visiting hours and best times to call, many didn’t like my strong hand at caregiving, I was strong. He fell out of bed, it took over thirty minutes to get him off floor. God prepared me. Two days before slipping into a coma I made potato soup and feed him. It’s a cherished memory God gave me. Gramps slowly went into a coma and died two days later, thru the pain I had faith. I made all the arrangements, gave the eulogy, watched two soldiers folding the American flag. In the darkest hour, I did not question.

    I realize this is the long Texas style way of telling the whole story as my husband says. I felt people needed to see the transformation in my life. From non believer and questioning Gods intent to having absolute faith in the dark times. I’ve had many trials since gramps deaths. I’ve been mad at God several times but didn’t loose faith. Job was mad at God yet he didn’t loose faith and was rewarded many times over. There is somebody out there today at one of these stages in life, if the long story comforts one person, God prepared me.

    Hugs. 🙂

    1. alygeorges Post author

      Your grandmother was a strong woman. I’m thankful to God for giving you such a wonderful grandma, and I pray for her eternal happiness, together with your gramps. Everytime I read your story I’m moved to tears. All those things you’ve gone through, and you’re still going on strong. May God continue blessing you, helping you see things as He wills, and may you continue being an inspiration to all those you interact with. You inspire me.
      Hugs. ::-)

      1. Looking for the Light

        You’re going to make my head so big with all the nice comments. I’m no different from so many others who had someone in their life who never gave up. My granny was the strongest person I’ve ever met and she loved me with her whole heart. She was an excellent example of what was right balanced with holding your ground. Se had a very hard life, harder life raising my dad for ten years by herself. She didn’t want me to have the same struggles, She also did not believe in spoon feeding. I am eternally grateful to both of my grandparents. I’m concerned that level of attention, responsibility and accountability is not taught enough to kids today.

        Thinking of you. Have a great weekend. 🙂

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