Of jobs, grandmas and opinions

What does one do when they don’t like their job and their partner doesn’t want them to quit? That’s the dilemma mom’s in at the moment. The company she works in is slowly going bankrupt and as a result the company’s management is becoming too aggressive towards the employees. The company already closed up three of its branches in a span of two months, with the branch she worked in being closed up last month.

Following the closure, mom was relocated to another branch but as it is, she is standing in for an employee who is on her annual leave. She is afraid she might be among those who are laid off because there’s a surplus of employees.

Some of the employees who haven’t been reassigned to other work stations have been sent on compulsory leave because the company’s management is reluctant to admit the company is sinking fast, though it is quite evident.

Mom, realizing the company might be dissolved soon, started up her own business two months ago. That was after she decided to quit her job because she realized if she waited for the company to collapse, she would be left stranded, with no job and no money.

A month ago she tendered in her resignation but she didn’t tell dad about it. She officially leaves the company this Friday. Everytime she brings the issue up, dad tells her to continue working until the management declares the company has been dissolved; however, my aunt, who works as a financial advisor in the same company, told mom if she waits until the company collapses, she won’t get her full benefits because the company will be too broke.

Quit my job

Mom’s resignation wasn’t just a spur of the moment thing; it’s something we-me, my sisters and mom-deliberated over until we all came to a consensus; that quitting was the best thing to do. Given that she’s married to dad, it’s only appropriate she tells him about it but we agreed against it for one main reason; if he knew she quit her job, the thought that she doesn’t have a job would make him start feeling superior and with that will come untold oppression. He’s done it before.

I have thought about dad’s reaction when he finds out mom quit and I imagine first he will be shocked, and then the shock will gradually turn into rage. I know he won’t be mad because mom quit, but because she didn’t tell him about it. Earlier this year when she started contemplating to quit, she told dad about it, but whenever they started arguing he would use the information she gave him to attack her.

Mom was telling me what she will tell dad when he finds out. The problem with dad, she was saying, is that he is not really the helping type. Lately she has been trying to tell him indirectly their company is collapsing, but everytime he tells her to hold on; to wait until they tell her to leave.

Mom then started telling me dad is like those people, who when a woman who’s being mistreated by her man tells them about her predicament, tell her to persevere. Eventually the woman ends up dead because no one told her to leave the man. Staying is not always the best option.

your time is limited-Steve Jobs

That example brought memories of her mother, and she told me what her mom once told her when she and dad were just newlyweds: “If ever the day comes when you leave your husband, if you come alone, I won’t open this door. But if you come with your children, I will gladly open this door for you.”

Those words almost made me cry, so I inhaled deep so tears wouldn’t well up in my eyes. Grams asked mom to never leave us behind if ever she left dad. She was a woman who was so religious and reserved and didn’t particularly support divorce/separation, but she knew those things were possible.

Dad on the contrary, told my sisters and I to never go back home if ever our husbands threw us out. He said we would never be welcome in his house if we left our husbands. He has repeated it severally so I know he is serious about it.

His mother on the other hand, has never loved my sisters and me. She hated us long before we were born; because our mother was just a poor coffee farmer’s daughter. She always wanted her children to marry into rich families; so basically dad failed her.

I thought about my two grandmothers; one loved us so much, and the other couldn’t hate us more than she does, and there’s nothing we can do about it. One taught to love without discriminating, while the other teaches to love the one with the most wealth.

I have very fond memories of my late grandma, but I can’t say the same about my paternal grandma. My paternal relatives hate us because of her; the things she taught her children have pitted her children and their families against my family.

She tried discouraging dad so he could leave mom but I guess, even if he doesn’t quite show it, he loves her; because he refused. From what I have learned, parents should be careful what they teach their children because those things don’t just affect them, but the generations which come after them.

My late maternal grandma may have been a poor farmer, but she was kindness embodied. My paternal grandmother on the contrary, is just proud and prejudiced.

 

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Of jobs, grandmas and opinions

  1. Kimberly Jo Cooley

    Wow, reading your blog post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing. I hope you do a follow up post about how your mom is doing. I think she made the right choice. I hope dad doesn’t get too mad.

    Reply
    1. alygeorges Post author

      I will do a follow up post Kimberly. Mom already told him this past Sunday and he didn’t say a word. Ever since he seems distant. I’m hoping it will all be okay eventually.

      Reply
  2. Anna S. Kedi

    This is really a nice writing. Life and family reltionships can be often so complicated. I wish ur mom will be well and I am sure she will against all odds, she is making the right choice. I particularly love ur comment around the importance of what we teach to our children, so true. Thanks for sharing and I hope you will keep us posted on the outcome for your mum.

    Reply
    1. alygeorges Post author

      Thanks Anna. Currently mom’s not doing too well. She told him about it last Sunday and he didn’t say a word, so she hasn’t the slightest clue about how he feels about it. She’s just hoping he took it well, because at the moment he seems to be avoiding her. Honestly I’m happy she quit. She is happy about that too; her only worry is dad’s reaction. Right now he’s not giving her so much to work with so she feels like she’s in limbo.

      Reply
      1. Anna S. Kedi

        Hello Aly, thanks for the update. Those things are never easy but I keep persuaded she did the right thing for her and she must stay focused on that. Nothing comes easy but I am sure she will be fine.

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