Invisible friends

invisible friends

Making friends is one of the best things in the world, especially if those friends are genuine. It feels really nice when one knows there is someone somewhere who holds them dear, and not because they expect to get anything in return; just pure friendship.

Some years ago, when I was in boarding school, we had invisible friends. I don’t know who started it but anyone who desired took part in it. Basically, one would secretly pick someone they wanted to be friends with. Then they would send them small gifts, wrapped up in whatever fancy wrapper one could afford.

Since we were in boarding school, we didn’t have fancy items to offer. Gifts mainly consisted of the toiletries, pens, pencil pouches etc. we had carried to school. Carefully, one would then place the package on someone’s bed or desk, with the note, ‘To… From your invisible friend.’

It was really fun getting gifts from ‘invisible’ friends. What made it even more interesting was the curiosity to know the real identity of the invisible friend. Sometimes, one figured out who their invisible friend was by telling whose handwriting it was on the note.

If one suspected anyone, they would confront them and if it turned out they were right, they would become friends. I’m not sure if it’s because of how such friendships began, but they seemed to really last.

What I particularly loved about the whole thing was the idea that one could do nice things to someone knowing there were high chances they would never get anything in return. When one took out a personal item to gift it to someone else, it was done with so much love.

When I look at most friendships today, I feel they don’t last because the people involved expect too much from each other. That leaves me wondering; the nice things we do for our friends, if we knew they wouldn’t know we are the ones who did them, would we still do them?

Do we do nice things for our friends because we love them, or because we only want to impress them? If we were just invisible friends, what kind of friends would we be?

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Invisible friends

  1. Looking for the Light

    That’s a very interesting question. I was the type who would make friends at work. In my prime earning years, theirs also, we would travel the world together. Wrote cards, they all lived in CA, but as the years went by without seeing each other, their lives changed, kids came in the picture, our friendships just faded away. Last year I didn’t even get a Christmas card. I understand, it’s been almost 10 years since we’ve seen each other. For me lifelong friends is to much pressure. Being Bipolar, I tried to hide it from everyone I worked with. My girlfriends knew I had depression but didn’t know the extent of my illness. I’ve been the 1-3 friends at a time, I’ll know everyone and talk smack with them but not friends. The only person I could call a friend is my brother’s wife, she would do anything to help me but we don’t hang. At 50 with serious health problems I don’t know who to make friends. I never leave the house. WordPress is my family and I have grown to care very deeply for people. not sure it’s the same. I need to get well, start taking my photography classes and field trips and then the possibilities are there. Good question to get you thinking. 🙂

    Reply
    1. alygeorges Post author

      I understand the pressure that comes with keeping lifelong friends, because we keep evolving and people’s interests change so it becomes difficult to have constant friends for long. Personally, there’s a time I had so many friends who I was really close to but they also moved, others got too busy with school and stuff so right now I don’t have many, plus the fear of getting hurt makes me shut people out sometimes. Like you, most of my friends at the moment are people I’ve met online and they feel like family. So, you’re online friends also count. 🙂
      I’m so sorry about your health complications. If ever you meet someone you feel you can trust, just tell them about it. It might help you get a huge load off your chest. I realized not having someone one can talk to makes problems feel really complex. Friends (real friends) help lessen that burden… but don’t worry about that, they’ll come when the time’s right.
      In the meantime, taking photography’s a brilliant idea…and field trips are absolutely fun. 🙂 You’re right, there are many possibilities there. 🙂

      Reply
      1. Looking for the Light

        Thanks for the kind comments. Once I have a diagnosis I plan to blog about the journey. Right now it’s just tons of symptoms and pain and that isn’t much fun to read. I would much rather be positive or at least hopeful. Have a great day. I made some progress on the award, only 2 more people to add to my list. Then it’s type away. I love getting and giving awards, not necessarily the work that goes into them. Take care.

      2. alygeorges Post author

        Just write about it when you’re ready. Take all the time you need. I know in the post will be tonnes of inspiration. 🙂 Giving awards requires a lot of effort and time, but the thought that they make others happy is what makes me love them. Take care too, and happy blogging. 🙂

  2. Angela Grant

    Good question…I notice unless I write it down I forget the things I do for people but I remember the things people do for me.

    I do things for people I care about because that is who I am.

    Reply
    1. alygeorges Post author

      That’s so nice of you Angela 🙂 and the good thing is you don’t need to remember the things you do for others. Doing those nice things for those you care about is all that matters.
      I also don’t like to forget the things people do for me because that way I remain ever grateful to them, even if I fall out with someone at some point.

      Reply

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