Children; who will protect them?

sexually abused

The things people are doing nowadays, just to get laid? People have clearly lost their minds. On the news, there was this story about a man who has been defiling his daughter, for months. When arraigned in court, he said he had heard his daughter was sleeping around and wanted to prove she was still a virgin; how? By having sex with her.

I was about to start laughing at such absurdity, when I figured people have actually lost all their morals. Anything goes. What made the story even worse is that the said daughter got pregnant and her mother, afraid that society would judge her husband took the girl to have an abortion, so there wouldn’t proof of his perversion.

When I hear of such stories, I just feel parents are letting their children down. Parents are failing their own children, the same ones they are supposed to protect. That leaves me wondering, if parents are preying on their own flesh and blood, dirtying them in the most repulsive of ways, how then will strangers treat the same children with love?

I don’t know if it’s the in-thing, but there seems to be so many sexual assault cases, with parents as the main culprits. Like this other story I heard last week; a man had been arraigned in court for defiling his son for years. When questioned, he said the devil led him to do it. They do repugnant things, then give the most preposterous answers. Then again, how does anyone come up with a credible answer to such heinousness? There’s none!

How does one get such a precious gift, a child, then vitiate it in such a manner? I’ve mentioned my own mom in numerous posts, and as I’ve said before, she is not a perfect human being; nonetheless, she has done the best she can to ensure my sisters and I turned out right. She has taught us what it means to make sacrifices for loved ones.

With her marriage for instance; she hasn’t stayed with dad because she wanted to, but simply because she didn’t want us to grow in a broken home. Has she made choices I felt were wrong? Severally. Still, she never forgets how to be a mother. She may not be the strongest person I know, physically speaking, but if she were to take on someone bigger than her, just for my sisters and me, she definitely would. She could stand having someone treat her wrongly, but if it’s us on the receiving end, she opposes it with all her might.

Seeing the things mom has gone through to defend us from harmful situations, leaves me wondering why some parents cause their own children harm when they should be their protectors. How can a father rape the same child he sired, or a woman, the child she birthed? How does a parent kill their own child, just because they feel they can’t provide for them anymore?

Other men, on the other hand, defile their children because their wives denied them their conjugal rights. Seriously? I don’t know what kind of a mother I’ll be, but right now I feel that is wrong. There is no excuse in the world that could make any of the debaucheries sound right.

A father is not supposed to be involved in any sexual relationship with his children, whether it’s consensual or forced. It’s wrong. And neither is a mother. It’s just wrong. It doesn’t matter if one was sexually starved, going through a very painful breakup or did it under the influence; it’s wrong.

Sometimes women are aware of their children’s predicament (being molested by their own fathers) but because they feel they could be worsening the situation if they reported the crime, they become accomplices. It’s not easy revealing such sordid acts to people who might possibly judge, but before one becomes an accessory to their partner’s crimes, they should consider the defenceless victims; the children. Who will defend them?

sexually abused 2

When I look at small children I get the impression they feel their parents are superwomen/men. They feel their parents can protect them from any type of danger, big/small. So what happens when the same ‘supermen’ attack them and the ‘superwomen’ don’t do anything to stop the pain? The children are left scarred for life, unable to trust anyone.

If one can’t stop it, they should consult a friend, or a neighbour, church minister/priest…anyone who can help. It’s better to fail knowing you tried than to look back and realize you didn’t lift a finger.

The woman who had her daughter have an abortion had me wondering, how different is she from the husband, who defiled his own daughter? Their neighbours are the ones who called the authorities after the teenage daughter talked to one of them, when she freaked out on realizing she was pregnant.

In my opinion, it’s a parent’s duty to protect their children; to keep them from harm.

 

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9 thoughts on “Children; who will protect them?

    1. alygeorges Post author

      I used the term defiled to describe the animosity that these innocent children are subjected to by their very own parents. I read Elizabeth Smart’s story. Thanks for the link. It’s really saddening to see someone’s self esteem damaged in such a way. People who go through such traumatizing experiences should be reminded constantly that no matter what happened to them, they are still worth so much. It wasn’t her fault she went through the ordeal. She was just a defenseless victim.
      It’s true what you say, this issues should be brought into the open because hiding them only gives the offenders more room to keep attacking more victims.

      Reply
      1. threekidsandi

        I think the sort of word you are looking for is akin to ¨savaged¨ which implies that an unwanted act has been committed on an innocent. Defiled implies they are making the child impure or dirty with their acts, and I am sure that is not the impression you desire.

      2. alygeorges Post author

        According to my religious belief, the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Sexual acts e.g adultery, fornication, incest, bestiality…etc. are highly discouraged because they sully the ‘temple’, which is considered a holy place. Additionally, children are considered pure, and the mere thought of a parent, of all people, violating that purity through immoral sexual acts is a huge offense. In my own understanding of the word, ‘defile’ fits the description perfectly. That is why I find the whole issue of parents having non-consensual sex with their children, not only harmful, but a total violation of their purity.

      3. threekidsandi

        Oh, I understand now. I actually do not agree that victims of crime become sullied by acts committed against them, though that is a common perception, so that is why I was suggesting other words.
        It is my experience that this contributes heavily to honor violence, as only ¨pure¨ women are allowed to live. So when my children’s cousin was kidnapped and raped by the secret service of the dictatorship she lived under, her husband refused her back after she was rescued, and then her own father smothered her with a pillow. Her son probably won’t remember her. He was a toddler. Certainly no one will talk to him about her.
        If no one was concerned with her ¨purity¨, they would have gotten her a doctor instead of an executioner. Also this obsession with purity is exactly why women and girls are not allowed an education in many parts of the world. But it means different things in different places. If your daughter gets a wrong number on her cell phone, her purity is compromised, and thus your honor. Concepts of purity are deadly to the people who have ¨lost¨ it. Did you hear about the girls killed in India for dancing in the rain outside their house, and filming their joy? That was about their ¨purity¨. They were ¨defiled¨ by their own actions.
        Yours is not the only culture that teaches this concept of purity and impurity.
        I, myself, am defiled, rather than pure, because I have walked out on my ex. I would be dead, in his country.
        We will disagree, I think. No shame, no blame, on the victims of crime, in my opinion.

      4. alygeorges Post author

        You say you understand, but I feel we’re on two different pages. You are taking the word out of context, based on how I intended for it to come out. I used the word ‘defile’ to show how parents are violating their own children’s chastity; children who know very little/nothing about sex. So in regard to this post, we’re going to limit it only to children-both boys and girls.
        Most of the children who are sexually abused are usually too young to understand what’s happening to them. They come to understand they were abused later in life, when they are much older. And when someone becomes a victim of any form of abuse, it’s never their fault, so they shouldn’t be blamed for it.
        In my opinion, anyone who blames victims is simply ignorant. Like in the case of your children’s cousin; was it her fault she was kidnapped and raped? Absolutely not. So why did her father feel the need to kill her? She was a victim. They should have empathized with her. She needed to be loved, not to be rejected and killed.
        When I talk about the children’s purity, I don’t mean it in the self-righteous kind of way, like with those those who killed the Indian girls, or your niece’s husband and father; I bring up the issue of the children’s purity to show the magnitude of the offense committed against them by their parents, meaning that the perpetrators should be given stiffer penalties.
        The same faith I profess-Christianity- which I told you discourages immoral sexual practices, also teaches about love, and asks us not to be our brothers’ judges/executioners. Only God knows who is clean or not. So when you say mine is not the only ‘culture’ that teaches about purity and impurity, you misunderstand why I used the term in the first place. This whole post is about protecting children from abuse.
        And, just to clarify on one more thing; like you, I also believe victims shouldn’t be treated like they were responsible for what happened to them; they are not to blame, and they shouldn’t be made to live in shame because that only prevents them from reporting the crimes; so the real offenders are never brought to book.
        I applaud you for having the courage to walk out on your ex when you knew that could get you killed. You are a strong woman. I am sorry for all the painful experiences you and your children have been through. I pray that with time you will get over the pain and replace all the bad memories with happy ones.

      5. threekidsandi

        Defile means to dirty the object, not the perpetrator. If we have a difference in translation, that would be better than the literal meaning, of course.
        Thank you so much for your support. I hope someone in my former situation reads this, and takes your support for themselves, too. It makes a world of difference.

    1. alygeorges Post author

      He just wanted an excuse, and a very sick one at that. Nothing in the world can justify such an action. Who are those kids supposed to run to for protection if their own parents are the enemies? It’s really sad. No child deserves that.

      Reply

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