Women are gold diggers: part one

Women are gold diggers. That’s what many men seem to think nowadays. Are they right? Or it’s just a ploy to make women come off as unbelievably materialistic

Wikipedia defines gold digger as: slang for a greedy person (stereotypically a woman) who only dates (and subsequently marries) wealthy partners with the (typically) sole intention of exploiting said wealth. The term is usually pejorative.

I have this cousin, who I’d only seen once when I was five and never met again until I was a teenager; I wrote about our encounter in Belinda. When I first laid my eyes on her, she seemed to have a very soft demeanour, and was quite shy; she had trouble looking someone straight in the eyes. From what I gathered, that was her first time in the city as she and her family lived in a farm in the countryside.

When they visited, she was accompanied by her mom and elder brother; it was just a normal courtesy call. Two days later, when her mom and brother left for their home she was left behind. Her mom-my aunt-wanted mom to have her enrolled in a school as she had dropped out for lack of funds. Mom had refused because at the time we were also having some money issues; my aunt therefore, requested mom to find her a job then.

We knew it would be difficult to get her a decent job since she didn’t have papers; nonetheless, mom said she would try. Seven months down the line, mom hadn’t managed to find her a job. Afraid that my cousin would take more time before she found a job, mom called my aunt and suggested that my cousin go back home. Eventually she did.

During her stay with us, I realized she was somewhat introverted. At first I thought she was still feeling nervous around us-my sisters and I-since we were practically strangers but as weeks passed by, she didn’t seem to loosen up. If we were doing karaoke we would ask her to join in but she would diffidently refuse; she didn’t have the guts to stand in front of us. We would playfully drag her off the seat to come sing with us but she would giggle, covering her face with her hands. She really was shy.

As months passed by, it occurred to me, she wasn’t the demure lass we had all assumed her to be. For instance, she could actually sing. Once, I was walking to the kitchen when I heard her singing in the living room to Celine Dion’s songs. I treaded softly to the living room and found her singing blithely; she didn’t seem to have a care in the world.

“So you can sing?” I said, shocked and impressed at the same time.

She swung around swiftly, clearly stunned to find me standing there. Assuming her timid self, she plonked herself in the nearest couch. I thought maybe she was afraid of me or something, so I told her, “No, carry on. You really have a beautiful voice.” I made sure my voice came out soft, in case she was scared. She didn’t sing again that day though.

Weeks later, my big sister bumped into my ex. He wanted to see me, so she invited him over for lunch the next day. When my sister told me we would be having a guest I gave my cousin a brief explanation about who he was so she wouldn’t feel out of place when he came.

The following day my ex came, accompanied by one of his friends, who was also an acquaintance. My sister and I prepared the food and later set the table. When the four of us were sitted, my cousin showed up, dressed in a revealing top and fitting pants, and her face completely made up. Again, I was shocked, yet impressed at the same time.

Shocked, because she had actually done her own make up given that I was always the one who was doing it as she didn’t seem to know how and had never shown the interest to learn; and impressed because she had made the effort to look nice. She was a girl of many surprises. Those innocent acts convinced me she wasn’t as coy. I got the impression she had so much concealed beneath her introverted façade.

When she left, we didn’t keep in touch. I only heard she had found a job in the city. After that I only saw her once. Her mom had visited and she came to see her at our place. The next time I saw her was at grams’ funeral last October. She showed up with a very cute guy, who after much prodding, she introduced only as a friend. I had a few questions to ask about ‘her friend’ but I wasn’t in the mood for it.

This past Monday, mom called her mom to check up on her. While they were talking mom asked about my cousin. Turns out she’s looking for a rich man to marry. Mom asked my aunt about the ‘friend’ my cousin was with. My aunt just said my cousin didn’t want him because he wasn’t loaded.

Mom didn’t know what to reply to that. She only told my aunt, “Just tell her not to get anyone’s husband.”

So, if women are gold-diggers? Based on my cousin’s choice of men, I can’t refute the claims.

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