‘Choir girl’ pregnancies

This past Sunday in church I saw this girl who had been M.I.A for a few Sundays because she’d taken a maternity break. She came back with a baby swaddled in pink, so I’m assuming she got herself a lovely baby girl. She’s an active member of the choir.

I’ve never talked to her really, but seeing her got me all excited. I guess it’s because I knew her as a young petite girl and now I was seeing her with her very own child. I guess part of me couldn’t believe it yet. Funny thing is I saw her throughout the period she was expectant.

In my excitement I shared the news with my family after church. I don’t know her name, so I call her ‘choir girl’. So I said, “Guess who showed up in church today with a baby.” My small sister was quick to say my cousin’s name. I said, “No, the choir girl.”

My sister was thrilled. “Wow,” she exclaimed.

Mom asked, “Is she married?” And seeing as I don’t know the first thing about the girl I just replied honestly, “I don’t know if she’s married, but I doubt it.”

“That’s a very bad example they are giving,” mom complained.

“Why? Because she’s a choir girl?” I asked.

“They make it seem okay. Kids will start getting the wrong impression.” Mom didn’t really expound on her statement, because in a way it was self-explanatory. The said girl got pregnant and still showed up in church, regardless of there being high chances that she wasn’t married. In a way, that would be like validating premarital sex.

“But don’t you see mom, she still came back to church,” my big sister argued.

“She took the baby to the priest to have her blessed,” I added.

“See mom?” my big sister said.

“She did?” Mom asked, apparently awed. Her earlier stance on the matter seemed to soften.

I’m thinking, from mom’s and many parents’ perspective, young kids would translate that as a green light to engaging in premarital sex. I don’t support the whole idea of kids ‘playing house’ with each other but nowadays with all the digital evolution where any porn material is just a click away, it would be foolish to ignore the serious fact that babies are having sex, and many girls are ending up pregnant.

It might not be possible to prevent young kids from having sex, but one thing I know is that we can act responsibly when babies are conceived in the process. For starters, I don’t support abortion one bit. Naturally this is a very controversial issue but the principal reason I take that stand is because life is precious and sacred. Any life, be it a day old embryo or a fully grown human being deserves to be treated as such.

That brings me back to the choir girl. When young girls end up pregnant, whether their parents are church leaders or not, whether the girls themselves hold important positions in the church, I feel that no one should be ostracized from the church and other social gatherings or even treated like sinners simply because they conceived out of wedlock. I’d love to believe those days are long gone.

Sometimes I feel the society is responsible for many wrong things that happen. If we can’t prevent young unmarried girls from getting pregnant, we can atleast point them to the right directions. Help them make the right decisions post-conception. Personally, I admired the ‘choir girl’ for  her bold step to find her way back into the church when there was a high possibility many people would be looking at her situation from mom’s perspective; judging and all.

I didn’t say this to mom, lest she started thinking that’s what I was contemplating; but I imagined, maybe the girl wanted a baby but she still wasn’t ready to get tied down to anyone. We can’t pretend that’s not happening nowadays. In the wake of many failed marriages, it would appear people are not so enthusiastic about getting hitched.

Speaking from a Christian’s perspective, I feel condemning people because of the choices they make is just unChristlike. A Christian’s work is not to watch from the sidelines, judging people, but to do what Jesus would have done; embracing all. He never turned anyone away; it didn’t matter to Him if one had a litany of transgressions. So really, who are we to judge?

5 thoughts on “‘Choir girl’ pregnancies

  1. The Vintage Couple

    The church always preaches abstinence. However, they should be teaching safe sex. The church can’t continue to turn a blind eye to teen pregnancy. I believe that it should be taught along with abstinence. Churches are always having youth night. Separate the girls and guys talk about birth control. Yes, parents should have consent before their child can participate. The church is filled with doctors and nurses. If the church doesn’t educate youth on sex and the risks physically and emotionally the world will. Parents need to wake up and pay attention their child may not wait until marriage to have sex. Great article!

    1. alygeorges Post author

      It’s true Aisha, safe sex should be taught along with abstinence. You know I always find it an issue that churches preach abstinence, while the media promotes everything that counters that on all levels. I feel kids should be taught not only about abstinence but about sex as a whole…risks and all, because at this point we can’t pretend young kids aren’t indulging in it. Thank you for stopping by and for sharing your thoughts on the matter.

  2. Kimberly Jo Cooley

    I enjoyed reading your blog post “Choir Girl” Pregnancies. I was a teen mother myself, and I am glad I kept and raised my son. He’s a teenager now – and he’s given me a couple of gray hairs, but God did not give me more than I can handle. I was blessed with parents that helped me through the years and I was able to graduate from high school and later, college. The key is not ostracizing young mothers and giving them the tools to succeed.

    1. alygeorges Post author

      That is such an inspiring story.
      God bless your parents for helping you through the years. I feel we shouldn’t judge people. It just bugs me when I see a young girl troubled because she got pregnant and everyone turned their backs on her, because it’s shameful or sinful… Such attitudes push those girls to extremes that make the rest of their lives miserable. For a young girl, getting pregnant isn’t the worst thing that could happen; there are worse things in life.
      I just hope anyone who finds themselves or a loved one in such a situation would be brave enough to take the path you took. I admire you for your resilience; for not giving up on yourself and your kid. God bless you Kimberly, you are an inspiration to many young mothers out there. 🙂

  3. Pingback: ‘Choir girl’ says “I do” | alygeorges

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