Happiness: Taming Expectations

Happiness is relative; that’s what a friend commented on one of my posts. I agree with him, happiness is indeed relative. I usually find myself sulking because I didn’t accomplish something. Now thing is, expectations change constantly; people evolve, their thinking evolves, goals change…that’s life. Sometimes we have to rely on others to achieve some things, and speaking from experience, it could be devastating when the person(s) you’re relying on bails.

I have learned that to be truly happy, I need to tame my expectations; not to rely too much on others. If I expect less, I’ll only have slim chances of getting disappointed.

Then there’s the other issue of feeling constantly disappointed because things are not just going the way I expect them to. Most people have all their goals set right from the start. When I was in high school for instance, I had envisioned what my life would be like…but has it turned out exactly as I’d expected (so far)? Not quite.

Normally this would be a good excuse for me to get disappointed, but slowly I’m realizing one thing; if I wait to achieve all my goals so I can be happy, I could end up miserable and chronically depressed. When I was young and seemingly naïve, I thought success was the key to happiness; but now I know it’s the other way round. Happiness is the key to success; because personally, I realized I’m much more productive when I’m happy.

If you ask me, happiness is a state of mind; for one to be truly happy, they just need to will it. They just need to want to be happy even when they feel there’s so much they need to accomplish. I have met some really optimistic people; those who seem happy from Sunday to Sunday. Normally when I get less marks than I had anticipated in an exam, I feel like someone zapped the joy out of me, so that all my thoughts revolve around my temporary failure and I get all stressed up…but then, maybe that has something to do with my high proneness to depression.

When I’m feeling a little bit under the weather, I’ll be all blue, feeling like the sun refused to come out from behind the ‘dark clouds’…then I have this friend who will be all happy even when I feel like whatever she’s going through would be enough to sink a ship. It all comes down to one thing, how much one craves happiness; it is elusive, but if one takes things as they are; trying to see past their sorrows, taking one day at a time, they’ll be less anxious and ultimately happy.

Sometimes when I’m down I’ll be like, “Today I’ll be happy no matter what.” It doesn’t always work, but it strengthens my will to be happy when things aren’t working out fine.